another funeral

Aquarelle par Moineau: Je ne veux que dire bonjour à quelqu'un
(I just want to say hello to somebody)
 

out of words
out of feelings
i'm depleted
all i have left is irritation
that most deliquent
symptom of depression
buried up to
my neck in sand
like that woman
in the beckett play

but it's not a
happy day at all
it's a day when sirens
call me to the shore
to strip off my clothes
claw my breast
pull out my hair
and say, "away, away"
o leave me alone
most foul emotion

i'll dress in black
pat the hairs down
with lilac
summon the courage
to stand with my children
when all i really want
all any of us want
is to stay home
shut the door
turn off the sun
go back to bed
and sleep it off

what else is left
now that you're gone
when one death follows
another until
life comes to be
defined by them
a funeral
a eulogy
and then a mass grave
where the heart
once was, buried
in desolation