mardi 18 août 2009

First Love

for d.g.

ever a love as pure
as the first love
as complex and
surrendered
as the first

when we were blind sided
when i followed my
best friend home and
we were introduced

when our eyes first met and
we knew that something new
was moving within our bodies
and overtaking our hearts

when you played moody blues
and cream in the dayroom for me
and the music swept us out
far away from everyone else

to our private island of bliss
furtively touching fingers
on the couch, sitting close
blossoming in secretness

walks amid new england
birches, holding hands
just to be together in
that white silence

then walking across the college
lawn, we lay our bodies
down, and suddenly you're
on top and i'm swept up

up in the hard pressing of
your lips, my 11-year-old
heart bursting with
chemical elements

and it goes on for years like that
slipping into your big brass
bed while your parents
are away, small and naked

until you left for private
school and i left for the road
yet, finally we made love
one summer on cape cod

and you seeded that first
child in me, and i in shock
stumbled to new york to
have it out, 15 and lost

well, i dreamt of you again last
night,
i found you among the city
streets, and i asked you, what
are they so afraid of

that we'll fall in love?
and i answered myself
virginal and heartbroken
i dreamt we always were


8 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit…

Innocence and that time of blind faith...that love lasts forever. It does, maybe, we just let it get entangled in webs of this world's designs .
I slipped away to your world of yore in this poem, Laura. You mend broken pieces by bringing them up again, gently, with care and hindsight.

Minakshi W

Pris a dit…

Good one, Laura. The boy I loved in 5th and 6th grade recently died of brain cancer and I mourned hin as if I'd loved him yesterday.

Moineau En France a dit…

thank you, meena. i've decided that if we once loved, really loved, we can never stop because that's love's nature.

so sorry, pris. i guess we have recently shared that kind of loss, and that's the other side of the love that never dies. xoxoxoxoxo

Kathryn a dit…

Beautiful,sad, Laura.

Haze a dit…

So, so sad, yet again, Laura. {hug}

Stirling Davenport a dit…

We never fall out of love, we just ride it out like a wave. Sometimes those waves fold themselves back into the sea, over and over ... this pure love, it was like that, I see.

Brenda a dit…

You compress this story of your heart into a few lines, really, only a few, and does it ever hit hard... so young, such passion, and your body so loved your lover that it embraced his seed at the first opportunity and blossomed within you. That's precious, knowing that. The depths of love cannot be plummeted. They are part of the deep and beautiful mystery of the universe and how this energy of union, love, filters through and connects everything, especially the deepest resonances between two.

Moineau En France a dit…

brenda, when i told my mother this story, she noted the same thing. at 15 i really had no consciousness of what was happening, but it has saddened me through the years. it really was a "love child" in the highest sense. ty so much. xoxoxo