the formula

i've been working on this one for days, with changes averaging every 4.3 minutes... :>>))

i took a number and sat down

at the department of motor vehicles

i took a number, 59, and

glanced at the wall: 0044

i went to the calculator in my head

slid open the calculator draw with

all the functions i still don't know

even though i've had this calculator

for 30-odd years, such as

how to use the memory functions

find square roots, go back to square one

they did not matter at all because

i didn't have a proper ratio

the denominator was missing from

the only equation i ever use

the one that allows me to resize

anything resizable i need or want

to figure out what things are worth

in dollars, psyche or in verse

but all i had before me now

was 59 = 44  

and that was not enough

to conjure up impending costs

i hit the counter on my mental watch

the one that tells me how long

things take and sat waiting

for number 0045 to show up and

there it was in just under 2:00

now i had a ratio

yet only a sampling

of a probable variable

i needed more data, examples of

time divisible by averages

thus hitting the counter again in my head

sitting as straight as i possibly could

not to activate my weak back muscles

waiting for number 0046 to crack open

i sat and sat and sat, staring at

the teapot of digital detente

now fidgeting in my chair, wishing i'd

brought my book about eastern europe

instead of this mental monkeywrench, when

"flip" went the wall score and

0046 did appear in all its

phosphorescent glory...

4 minutes after the last, but then:

no one called #46 via the microphone

time did not move forward at all

'til the dmv person strode out the door

into the parking lot, around the corner

i don't know how long it was, i forgot to

push the mental button but

it seemed like a long long time

'til he strode back in again

and said, "46"... and i, thinking

i should probably add extra miles

then realizing how little it mattered

when i could simply repeat my error

with the next intrepid chafferer

so long a time did elapse

i fell asleep, elbowed by a jerk

sitting on my right who

let me know in no uncertain terms

that he found my mental calisthenics

too loud for his public and private reflections

as usual i was quite sincere

falling to my spiritual, yet antiquated knees

when i saw i had forgotten

during this mildly psychotic altercation

to arrest the mental counter

leaving me captive between numbers again

with a completely ambivalent figurehead

how long would i wait in

this hellhole of hard plastic chairs

color worn off of them

the powder-pale walls

tangible stress emanating from

a roomful of attenuated voyagers

a reshuffling of bums and crossing

and uncrossing of legs in

a total void of magazines, nothing to

break the monotony of the wait

except a mathematical formula

my cherished mental calculator

my timer and alarm

all of which i handled so badly

leaving me dangling between 0047

and 0048 on that friday afternoon

in august, goose pimply and sick

in the cold air conditioning?