Double Negative

I've done my best to love you

for 50 odd years

Been there, done that

over and over 

with no hope but one: 

That you might become

a loving mother

But no matter what I do 
it's never enough
as you play your hand
staying one step ahead
of your game to get
what's coming to you

And what's come to you
riding on a bitter wave
is that you've driven me away
with your endless demands
and your pompous façade of
perpetual independence

They say madness is doing
the same thing over and over
and expecting a different
result: the truth is
I pity you but cannot take
any more of your abuse

Fifty odd years of it
and the last straw comes
on the back of one more
slap of your jealous anger
I cannot save you from yourself
From now on, mommy dearest
you'll have to do that alone

I'm not enough, never will be 
"Obviously my children don't care about me"
Tell what little world is left
that I'm a lousy daughter
I don't give a shit no more
And that, dear mother, is
a double negative