a woman song

Laura Nyro

time, i've almost forgotten thee

as if you or i never existed

the listless hours spent

scanning row after row

of movie covers on the roku

while my limbs are ricocheting

off the couch cushions

kicking away the blankets

then lying very still so as

not to awaken more demons

it's a time of teacups and pain meds

and i find that i'm addicted

to coffee again

just to have something warm and

flowing to fill the deep hole

the steam swirling about me now

a white fog that reminds me

that my brain is dying

and how time dies away

when the dignity of unique thought

and my passion for words has fled

as readily as i was born with it

grief knows no time

it ridicules all escape clauses

like trying to read a book

when i can't remember

the last paragraph i just read

or picking up the book

only to realize i'm reading the

same chapter for the fourth time

and i don't realize it

until i'm halfway done

and then i can't remember

what will happen next

i'm watching gods and monsters

as passionately as a child

watches her favorite movie

over and over learning

and relearning the songs

do adults do this too i wonder

as i slip into a wormhole

i'll wake up like arthur c. clarke

on a strange new planet

or rip van winkle with 20 years gone

knowing no one

time is forgetting all about me

and everything i accomplished

i think about laura nyro

and that "one child born in a

world to carry on to carry on"

like her, i only wanted freedom

i too drove away demons

and hit refresh but it's never any use

i'm left with my own woman song

and a little bit of time to forget

the treason of chronic illness

even as i will be forgotten