mercredi 25 janvier 2012

stuff in boxes

i don't know where anything is
but i can't think about it
because the chaos that's around me
begins to tap tap tap at my head
until i'm crazy

my house is filled with boxes
a melange of documents
perfume bottles and birthday cards
vitamin pills carved gods
novels and japa malas
a scarf i bought on a whim
last year at a thrift shop
or the dvd of a concert i saw
in 2004

god help me if i need to find
my passeport or tax return
or the vitamin d because 
my levels are low
or the gold-flecked scarf
to tie around my throat
because it's cold

chaos has entered my house
and taken over my stuff
and not just in my house
but in my head
and not just in my head
but in my body
an extension of this illness
no less painful than
my right trapezius
nor less nauseating
than my vertigo

no i can't go there
i just leave it alone
the piles of garbage
the dust and the boxes
and the knowledge that
inside are the precious objects
of my life before chaos

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