vendredi 13 janvier 2012

battered



battered back again
to my previous pain levels
right arm throbs to the wrist
big muscle across my shoulder
grips and burns
rotator cuff in front
burns into my breast
and it's constant

i'm still fighting
for pain meds
fighting after
15 years
explaining
what my disease is
to family, friends
and doctors alike
when will they
get it?

i can't stretch it out
eat it out
walk it out
accupuncture it out
meditate it out
or psychoanalyze it out
nothing works but opioids

and when it's
this bad
i can't think at all
i can't know
what to do
what not to do
the sickness
the nausea
the vertigo
the pain spreads
throughout my body

if they don't
give me
what i need
i won't be 
able to
stay here

what will it take
to stop the battering
not by pain
but by doctors?

if i only had a glove
i could give them
let them put it on
and feel what i feel
they would treat me
in a heart beat

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