the tone of my dreams

The Scream by Edvard Munch

the dreams clatter toward wakefulness
the anxious dreams i often have
where i seek from the past
my way back to the present
yet never quite arrive out of the din of them

scenarios i've known over and over
people i've lived with or passed in the night
who now question my very worth
who taunt me for not being good enough
or who relentlessly avoid my overtures

lost in the places i've known
like my old college campus or
the tv station where i worked
i with a task such as finding a class or
returning a film to its shelf

the things i left behind with regret
the scenes still clamoring in my consciousness
from street to street or room to room
i cannot dial a telephone or find the trolley
and worse yet i cannot speak

or i change into a raging tyrant
who demands once and for all why
you could not love me
but you have moved on with another
while i still cling to the awful failure

the tone of my dreams
resonates in my nerves
as round and round i wander
on city streets or a foggy beach
or alone at 4am in my bed