ghosts

i live in the silence that

you have left behind

a deep abiding silence

that sweeps upon the room

when i hear a certain song

or come upon a photo

or just hear your names

bubbling up from the nowhere

that subtly subsume my thoughts

color them with blues and grays

as i struggle with chaos

a hole opens up in my chest

like some sacred chakra

reserved for your absence

and like an accident victim

i absorb the shock and turn

pale and parched with no

sense of myself

there is only you

moving in and out of my

peripheral vision
deepening a wound

all your ghosts inhabit this

house like crowds of

pilgrims, brides and children

you knock at my heart

in the wee morning hours

when i lie still and soundless

it is then that your subtle

bodies enter my mouth and

infiltrate my dreams

i grab for the coverlets

sad and shivering
I grab for goblets and drink up

there is no transcendence

there is only you encompassing

year after lonely year
there is only you in the music
there is you here in the snow
and rain or in the rays of sunshine
when i eat my soup

when i put on my clothes

i feel you watch me

and bid me come away
such the angel in me would love
but it is the animal that lives on