talk about the void!
waking up, drenched in sweat
in this tiny curtained room at
the foot of purple mountains
the window is open
and a fan whirs left to right
the moment seems infinite
painful and profound
i could be anywhere right now
any city, any village, any plain
or farmhouse, any universe
perhaps i'm on a rocket ship
reeling in the cosmos
perhaps i'm everywhere all at once
and nowhere at all
twilight zone, dead zone
and what's left
is infinite nothing
sitting on this bed
looking into tabla rasa
holding myself together
maladie et douleur
i reach for the pillbox
and wait and wait
in the undefined void
i call a life
4 commentaires:
What a horrible feeling laura. this poem, altho' difficult to read and absorb deals with a part of life no one wants to think about. a sickness so great that nothing really matters anymore. one could be in a place that they love, and it wouldn't mean a thing. i got a taste of this last night waking up with an overpowering sense of dizzyness. anyone who has experienced anything like what you write about in this poem will "understand" your poem. so sorry you are feeling so sick right now in a place you love...r.w.
Beautifully written, Laura. I can certainly relate. Those closing lines....
you both know so well, pris and ron, what this life of me-cfs is like... time stands still as one lies in one's bed. i woke up in the dark night, in this funny little bedroom surrounded by windows, curtains drawn, and thought... i could be anywhere right now, what does it matter?
thanks for your compassion and i feel for all you go through too, you pris, as one who suffers the same fate, and you ron, as the one who must care for me in the worst of times and with your own physical disabilities, that terrible tinnitus (acouphène en français) and now overwhelming fatigue... we survive, we wait and watch for a miracle...
LOVE. xoxooxoxoxoox
So true, Laura.
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