samedi 20 mars 2010

nothing day


Tableau: Melancolie par Constance-Marie Charpentier, 1801



this nothing day
this emptiness this melancoly
someone knocked at my door
and i had to answer it, or did i?
but i did like an idiot

father and son sell chocolate bars
in their boy scout uniforms
i feel like a fool in my striped pyjamas
i buy a crispy crunch for two bucks
and then eat it up in one gulp with closed eyes

big fucking deal
two clocks set to remind me
of my 12 o'clock meds
they both went off and i forget
how little is left of my consciousness

how little is left
twelve teeth, twelve poems
perhaps twelve friends
the best one dead, my daughter
that anniversary just days away

another movie, another cup of coffee
another charm to keep away the dolor
i'm whispering with my fingers
whispering like wind through leaves
like dreams through sleep

a big hole in my heart drains the blood
i need to carry oxygen
my ears hear, my eyes see
but there is no response
my brain is dying faster than my feelings

the only thing driving me is
this need to write a poem
and even that, dear readers
as you can see
alludes me

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