mercredi 28 mars 2012


"Every child, as he wakes into life, finds a mirror underneath his pillow. Look in it he will and must, else he cannot know who he is, a creature fallen from grace, and this knowledge is a necessary preliminary to salvation. Yet at the moment he looks into his mirror, he falls into mortal danger, tempted by guilt into a despair which tells him that this isolation and abandonment is irrevocable. It is impossible to face such abandonment and live, but as long as he gazes into the mirror he need not face it; he has at least his mirror as an illusory companion." ~W. H. Auden

i am forgetting my face
the long smooth line of cheek
the roman nose
the bedroom eyes
now blinded

i try to grasp
the difference between
then and now
attached as i am
to what i was

Wiping away the droplets
I seek my face
my body cleansed
of residue
fully naked

i cannot see
my eyes have been stolen
the mirror twin
in shame and anxiety
turns away from me

it is too late now
for new eyes
it is too late
to put out the light
of self love

samedi 24 mars 2012

nuckel-minated debris investigation

Moving image of debris investigation in spent fuel pool ... Unit 4 at Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station Video on March 19, 2012. By nuckel:

I have given nuckel a special slogan:
"Come for the video, stay for the music!"

vendredi 23 mars 2012

Les étendues - Dominique A

This song always makes me think of Alain Bashung. It was released in 2009, 
the same year that he died .... English translation below.

Des étendues
Dominque A

Des étendues
The expanses
J'en veux encore
I still want
Des étendues
The expanses

Des mers à boire
Oceans to drink
Comme des draps pendus
Like drapes hanging
Au décor
In the scenery

J'en ai tant vu
I have seen them
J'en veux encore
I still want them
Des étendues
The expanses

Dehors les hommes
Outside of men
Et les tickets-
And the lost
Boisson perdus
Drink tickets

Les tours de garde
The watchtowers
Et les hauts murs
And the high walls
Hors de ma vue
Beyond my view

Au ban l'amour
Banished from love
J'aime mieux l'étendue que loi
I love the expanses more than the law
Même étendue
Even expanded
Même étendue
Even expanded

Etant entendu que sans toi
Being expanded without you
Que me reste-t-il? Laisse moi
What remains for me? Leave me
Au moins encore une longue-vue
At least still a long view
Pour regarder les étendues
To look at the expanses

Des étendues
The expanses
J'en veux encore
I still want
Des étendues
The expanses

Des mers à boire
Oceans to drink
Comme des draps pendus
Like drapes hanging
Au décor
In the scenery

dimanche 18 mars 2012

TEPCO Cam Faves

A youtube playlist with evidence of ongoing criticality at Fukushima Daiichi. Some have talking, some have music.

By Radchick of Orion Talk Radio:

mercredi 14 mars 2012

Another anniversary for Alain

que dire, que dire, que dire! trois ans et encore une musique sans pareil, un mec sans pareil! donnez-moi de nouvelles données, donnez-moi ... oh alain, deuxième homme de ma vie, de mon cœur car tu m'a appris comment il faut rester en vie, même en dents de scie... et comme c'est difficile quelquefois! mais ta vie, ta musique me donne du courage... alors, je l'écoute sans pitié. merci, alain, merci, je t'aime, donc je te suis. xoxoxoxo

samedi 10 mars 2012

Fukushima Anniversary: Save the Children!

video by moineau

The children and adolescents of Fukushima prefecture and many other places in Japan, as well their future progeny, continue to be at high risk for radiation from the Fukushima Daichi nuclear explosions and meltdowns. The government of Japan pretends that it can clean up the radiation, but we all know that isn't true. We must protect the children.

Please sign the petition: Evacuate Fukushima 福島の子供を守れ !

The song is "Fly to Me" by Chihiro Onitsuka. I provide a translation I found online.

Photos are from a variety of online blogs.

その呼吸が近くで濁るたび 全てを壊したくなるのよ
ここからは弱ささえ届かない 拙い境目で何を叫べばいい?

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

今すぐ私の元へ飛んで来て 私はそれを感じようとするから

温もりなど闇の中 そんなの冷たいだけ 貴方に映ればいい

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

嘘でさえ続いて行く それでも現実が 何かを包むから

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel try to heal myself
(飛んで来て 今すぐ私の元へ飛んで来て
私はそれを感じようと 自分をなだめようとするから)

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

sono kokyuu ga chikaku de nigoru tabi subete o kowashitaku naru no yo
koko kara wa yowasa sae todokanai tsutanai sakaime de nani o sakebeba ii?

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

"watashi wa nakanai" to waratte tsubureru mune o oshi korosou to suru keredo
nukumori nado yami no naka sonna no tsumetai dake anata ni utsureba ii

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

uso de sae tsudzuite iku sore demo genjitsu ga nanika o tsutsumu kara

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try feel try to feel try to heal myself

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me


Each time your breath gets muddy near me
I want to destroy everything
What shall I cry out within these unlucky borders
Unreachable from here even to my weaknesses?

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

I won't cry with a smile
Though you try to crush my heart to death
Warmth inside darkness
Only such coldness should be reflected in you

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

It'll continue on even as a lie
Because reality conceals something

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try feel try to feel try to heal myself

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

vendredi 9 mars 2012

"There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost"

Nuked Radio Promo-Tokyo Gamma Ghosts

from Radchick and the folks at Orion Talk Radio:
("We care for you because your government doesn't")

vendredi 2 mars 2012

yokohama - february, 2002

for Ron who cried when we left and for everyone who loves Japan...

infinite alleyways
leading to the train
we take them all
past noodle shops and
french patisseries
we stop for coffee
and petits fours
there's an obsession with french
equal to english
droll petites phrases
"all of dreams,
full of hopes"
we laugh, delirious

paper paper paper galore
it's every poet's dream
my paper maché box
is overflowing
petits cahiers
noh stickers
letter sets
tsunami prints
manga manga manga-la
i'm developing a
new mantra
learning japanese
sumimasen, sumimasen

i whiz past minicars
on a busy street
carrying the dinner fish
and off to my left
a temple, a sanctuary
a woodland path
a waterway with geese
big crows and
little sparrows
a temple, a grotto
a shallow wooden well
tao shinto buddha-mé
i know i'm in heaven

down eight floors
from the little
apartment where
our daughter-in-law
sleeps late in
her pregnancy
we cross to the daieh
hundreds of bicycles
are lined up, unlocked
no one locks anything up
we're in awe of that

the department store
is as big as a mall
and each floor is
a thousand cranes
kitties and bears
human fetishes
shoes and studded leggings
too many delicacies
to taste in the basement
flat screen tv's
not yet in vogue
yet here hanging
on every wall
a million electronics
sing in their displays
every one in kanji
the colors unimaginable
we buy a heater
for the baby
then dash off to denny's
to scour the menu
even denny's
is special here

the night is cold
the wind is blowing
the rain may turn
to snow
the night is long
my daughter-in-law is
moaning for her
mother in bohol
i comfort her
the best i can
she takes the
epideral and
sleeps unfettered
we cat nap
and say prayers to
individual gods

not quite at dawn
a baby lies
in my arms
soft black hair
orange skinned
it will take us
many days to
bring him home
we put him
by the window
for sunlight

we anguish, thinking
in only a few days
we will have
to leave them
have to leave
these treasures
we try to change
our tickets but
we've only touched
the surface
shiny surface
fast trains
beautiful faces
everywhere we turn
sumimasen, sumimasen

jeudi 1 mars 2012

morning dream

an old poet, withering
i visit 
knock at the door
of the man i once lunched with
his dashing lover
his endless mansion
household abuzz with 
sisters and servants
i am led to his side
it is late 
he has just awakened
he does not recognize my face
he is visibly shaken
his kind lover
tells me early is best

as in every dream before
i become lost in leaving
wander the hallways
enter myriad rooms
one of the poet's sisters
a dark jewess with glasses
sees me and sparks fly
she is drowning in love
corners me in the small room
tells me she will wait
ten days for my call
makes me promise
and dashes off gleeful
i continue my quest

that's not the door
but i try it
so embarrassing
the servants have gathered
to usher me through
a door of revolving glass
into a garden party
everyone in suits
i make my way
toward the gate
and someone says
it's a gated community
and as i approach
water gushes from the door
from the ground
a small tsunami
i am wet and embarrassed
and everyone is laughing
i laugh too and say
now i know what a
gated community is

i realize my feet have no shoes
cold wet socks hug them
i must have taken them off
when i saw him
sat on his bed
talked about nothing
no no, not there, i'm told
but perhaps, i think
when his sister kissed me
she took my shoes
for collateral

we are lunching
the three of us
the poet remembers me
and is delighted i came
his courageous lover
smiles with delight
as the poet tells us stories
about the good old times
we laugh and drink wine

i enter a large room
another one of his sisters winces
it is dance class time for girls
and they are busy busy busy
i wish i could join them
don't mind me
i'm looking for my shoes
i sweep past the dancers
enter a little closet
housing a row of old shoes
oh there they are!
but no they are not mine
i try them on and they fit
but they have a small heel
they will have to do
until i get my shoes back

when i leave this time
you are waiting by the car
dressed in a blow-up plastic
robot costume
roller blades dress your feet
you look so ridiculous
as you slide down the sidewalk
you say you found
a vintage toy store
and when you left
they just gave it to you
i realize it fits you
it's a perfect fit
glad you were not bored
waiting all those hours at the car
i show you my shoes
my parisian black slippers
gone forever

the hours

if i had anything left to say, i'd say it, dammit
nothing but the hours the hours
stretching out before me in this cold empty house
the muted television, cold mint tea
and me drowning in unending ennui

god forbid dollars would fall
or a plane ticket out of here to france
or a dark chocolate bar, anything to fill
the unending nil of this existence
the clanging boredom, the hammering pain

hell yes i'm depressed, wouldn't you be
wouldn't anyone left to fend for herself
with a handful of meds and infinite illness
i try everyday to occupy some meaning
but find in the end i'm too stressed to care

so i fill my head with amadeus and then
check out the birds and the earthquakes
photoshop the forests, listen to the rain
wake up with my back nearly broken
on a busted up sofa, head exploding

there's no escape, i just have to face it
fill the hours as they come and go
a book, a movie, a lousy poem
noise in the kitchen, a cat full of needs
a bunch of anger that needs some peace

winter dream

whisper winds of winter
to rustle fir trees side to side
flutter wings of snow geese
to shatter pre-dawn silence
shadows triangulate dark sky
moon sets as sun rises
enter a single warbler
to awaken all comers
soon a chorus will begin
while i lie awake dreaming