blinded

"Every child, as he wakes into life, finds a mirror underneath his pillow. Look in it he will and must, else he cannot know who he is, a creature fallen from grace, and this knowledge is a necessary preliminary to salvation. Yet at the moment he looks into his mirror, he falls into mortal danger, tempted by guilt into a despair which tells him that this isolation and abandonment is irrevocable. It is impossible to face such abandonment and live, but as long as he gazes into the mirror he need not face it; he has at least his mirror as an illusory companion." ~W. H. Auden


i am forgetting my face
the long smooth line of cheek
the roman nose
the bedroom eyes
now blinded

i try to grasp
the difference between
then and now
attached as i am
to what i was

Wiping away the droplets
I seek my face
my body cleansed
of residue
fully naked

i cannot see
my eyes have been stolen
the mirror twin
in shame and anxiety
turns away from me

it is too late now
for new eyes
it is too late
to put out the light
of self love