mercredi 25 novembre 2009
thanksgiving: best wishes from vauvenargues
november 25, 2009
to my dear friends and readers,
with exactly two weeks left in france before i return to the united states, i would like to send you my great thanks, for your kindness, your good advice, your faithfulness in reading me, and your beautiful friendship without which this trip would not have been as profound and full of inspiration, for writing, for living.
i think about the evening celebration in the countryside where we ate, talked, loved, in memory of your friend who passed away seven years ago; the times at the sheep ranch with your daughter and her friend and their laughter and the hard work that they love; the generosity of your families, your aunts and your parents who welcomed me to your houses as if i were one of your own; the great lunches and dinners we ate together, too many to count, and the times you ate in my kitchen making "ahs" and ohs"; the long walk at bimont and our conversation about the things we love and the men and girl friends who betrayed us, as we now search for true friendship; the get-togethers in aix in the corner of the méjanes where we talked about loves of long ago, bashung who is gone and fontaine who came back, and of the paragliding you love so much, the flights from the heights of mt. sainte-victoire; moments with you in paris and marseille, the big cities in all their glory that always attract me with their beauty and culture; the dance and theater of aix which i will never forget, especially s. beckett at the theatre du jeu de paume; and even the moments of sickness where you cared for me with your voice calm and low and full of compassion...
this eve before thanksgiving, i will leave you these beautiful photos that i took last night at sunset and these thoughts that come from the bottom of my heart. thank you, my soulmates, my friends and my readers all. i feel so blessed tonight! i love you, and forever. ~your little sparrow who is crying with joy and gratitude xoxoxo
i leave my bedroom after a day in bed, sweating from sickness and weakness...
and all of sudden, it's sunset that takes up all the space in my eye. i grab my camera, thirsty for some beauty.
and as suddenly, clouds...
and clouds everywhere!
i spot my neighbor's cat who is spying on me, trying to make herself a part of the grass in order to hide herself. she can't do it: she has big eyes and is all black.
i call to her, "kitty, kitty," and she comes towards me for the first time in three months, greeting me. together we enter the fields, searching for the best views. we wait a long time in silence. then they explode in front of us...
the sky in the east, above the mountains, carries clouds more beautiful than i have ever seen.. perhaps you, kitty, you have seen them before... but each moment is completely different, isn't it?
and then the moon, the last light of the sunset, and the darkness that comes.
the playful cat flees with another burst of light in the sky.
and then everything becomes dark.
my hands are too cold; i decide to return to my bedroom. on the path, i see that you are still at work in your studio where you paint your landscapes right through to abstraction. i have a great feeling of peace inside of me, and i send you a good night kiss.
in my bedroom, i lie upon my unmade bed and begin to dream of everything that i have seen at sunset..