where would i be

Uphaar Crafts (Hoshiarpur)

where would i be today

without this pain i suffer

and the mental anguish

that comes of it

i remember myself optimiste

burning to rescue the world

out on a limb as far as i could get

without breaking it

in cubicles of busyness

pencil and phone in hand

answering every request

bureaucrat par excellence

or driving in my car

to the far reaches of oregon

to impart the connaissance

to starving teachers

now and then i lay my hands

on someone's cold body

spreading a cosmic force

into frozen molecules

i sat in temples and

meditated myself into ecstacy

chanting the holy name

all 108 or 108,000 of them

washing the deities

washing the feet of mastery

brushing against enlightenment

but never quite merging with it

cradling my infants

close to my breast

as they grappled with their mouths

to get hold it

i remember running

far and wide on the earth

making friends and

eating dirt

costuming myself

in yards of saris

or with the proletarian cap

lodged on my big head

would i be further along

in my quest for the essential

or would i still be spinning

the old broadcloth of dissention

where oh where would i be today

without this pain i suffer

and the mental anguish

that comes of it