mardi 7 juin 2011

off the straight and narrow

i need to take a long vacation
from this bodily angst,
sit on top of a hill and meditate
like in the old days,
without thoughts about hunger or thirst
or what time it is
or what pills to take
or what i did then
or what was done to me.

i want to feel wind and rain
on naked vulnerability,
to sit absorbed
in a single tangible thing,
my breath in and out,
not the worn out dreams
surrendered in illness
nor where i should go
or how i should get there
but here in this moment
which is the only place i own
yet over which i have no control
nor would i want it
for therein lies my freedom.

there's a path i can take
that was custom-made for me,
the trees and shrubs carved
by wind and dessication,
sand crushed from grand caverns
sifted and gathered and
making this way meandering;
yet i have no fear of losing my way
because the sun rises in the east
and sets in the west,
as does venus with her fierce lovelamp,
and these things do not vacillate.

i put one foot in front of the other
to climb the scraggy path
up to the summit of the dune,
with a symphony of waves
and seagulls gliding in air currents
and hundreds of sanderlings
running frenetically through foam:
and when i sit like that,
brought there by my own two feet,
i feel a sense of unionizing peace,
as one of a gazillion stars in a
heavenly vista that rolls on and on,
eternally evolving,
creating path after path,
reaching one or another resting point
for weary pilgrims.

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