samedi 7 janvier 2012

my fear of pain

i survived the ghost of pain
at midnight
making the transition
from one medication to the next
overcoming the nonsense
i had told myself

fear of pain is my motivation
for everything
fear of more pain than i have
suicide-making pain
that suffocates my reason
because i've become

animal pure mammal
licking its wounds in the brush
under cover of darkness
hypervigilant and alive
ready to flee or fight

the human in me survived
to try something new and untried
and now i have less pain
less pain and some clarity
about what drives me

3 commentaires:

Mary Stebbins Taitt a dit…

What an evocative, heartfelt and sad but hopeful poem

I have a a great deal of fear of pain as well.

Mary Stebbins Taitt a dit…

"Pain suffocates my reason" YES! :-(

Laura Tattoo a dit…

ron said the other day that he thinks that is part of the human condition. probably right... it's been an interesting transition, love. and still, thank god for compassionate care. xoxooxoxox