confessions of a dope fiend pain patient

i've been running too long
on cigarette smoke and pills
i've been cruising on crises
not even my own
i don't know when to stop or let go
like a fast train my mind
clips the mountain's edge
and then runs right over it

my teeth are all broken
my legs are immobile
yet i don't know my angst level
can't feel my own gains or losses
i say i want to be there for you
fix me fix you fix everything
but i'm already sleeping when
it's time to press the enter key

it's too hard to be human
it's easier to be figurative
it's damn easy to find a cause
when you're running away from yourself
when there's nothing left but
time and cigarettes and you're rich
what else could you need
but a decent night's sleep

i used to think i was a genius
pat myself on the back for it
like it was my birthday every day
the wise men found a star
and followed it to a barn
but i've lost my pathfinders
lost them to the zen
of a three times daily five-alarm fury

i'm ready to make a change
i've been saying that for 14 years
i'll sweat it out vomit hallucinate
whatever it takes because
i'm dying from it i know it
'cause i'm a genius 
my mother told me
just before she went out the door

and i got a father too ain't lyin'
hired a spy to find me in 1993
although he forgets about '79
when i called him the first time
and he said "sorry just can't
'cause my dad and i had our glass
shook our hands and
that was that"

i didn't understand it then
told him i understood it now
but even then he couldn't cop to it
i guess we're all just cowards
all of us geniuses who
stick out like wankers
with our winsome mannerisms
and our tunnel visions

i'll close with this:
each bloody war we're fighting is illegal
and i'm damn sorry i missed your call
i'll always try to be there for you
but now is the time for
all good men to turn inward
where we hope for a cash cow
and an easy detoxification

De l'aube à l'aube - 10 émissions sur le Bash!

voyez la promo: ça va être pour tout l'été! xoxoxooxoxox

Site des émissions: http://www.radiosfrancophones.org/coproductions-evenementielles-detail.php?copro=87

Dominique A - Immortels (écrit pour Bashung)

"Le centre de gravité est disparu..." ~Dominique A

Je ne t'ai jamais dit 

I never told you

Mais nous sommes immortels

But we are immortal
Pourquoi es tu parti

Why did you leave

Avant que je te l'apprenne

Before I understood you

Le savais tu déjà 

Did you know it already

Avais tu deviné

Had you guessed

Que des dieux se cachaient

That the gods hide themselves

Sous nos faces abîmées

Under our damaged faces

Tous les baisers reçus

All the kisses received

Savais tu qu'ils duraient

Did you know they would endure

Qu'en se mordant la bouche

That in biting the lip

Le gout en revenait

The taste came back

Et qu'il y avait du sang 

That there was blood

Qui ne sècherait pas

That would not dry

Tu me donnais la main

You gave me your hand

Pour boire de ce sang là

To drink of that blood

Je ne t'ai jamais dit

I never told you

Mais nous sommes immortels

But we are immortal

Immortels, immortels

Immortal, immortal

As tu pensé parfois

Did you sometimes think

Que rien ne finirait

That nothing would finish

Et qu'on soit là ou pas

And that one is there or not

Quand même on y serait

Even when one was there

Et toi qui n'est plus là 

And you who are no longer here

C'est comme si tu étais

It is as if you were

Plus immortel que moi

More immortal than I

Mais je te suis de près

But I am following close behind you

Je ne t'ai jamais dit

I never told you

Mais nous sommes 

But we are immortal

Immortels, immortels

Immortal, immortal 

Paris - Marche de Fierté 2010

Samedi, 26 juin 2010, à 14h, de Montparnasse à Bastille (Click to enlarge). Un grand salut à mon ami Alain et l'equipe Zelink: Have a great time! xoxoxoxoxoxo

I. dreaming graces

Picasso's The Three Graces

the three graces are waking me up

i am touched, molded, kissed

by their dextrous fingers

my eyes, hands and feet are washed

my energy enfolded in broadcloth

pleated from left to right

and then firmly tucked at my waist

the thick pallu thrown at my shoulder

i approach a mirror descended

from the summit of mount olympus

i am not the same woman, invaded by

such joie de vivre, la fête et la splendour

that i have grown a third body

in the center of my breast, ruby-like

whose facets reflect infinite rivulets

in whose mouth flows oceans

the water bears infinite stars that

live and die in a song, a creation story

about a ravaged girl left to die

until small birds found her and

carried her heavy body across the wire

with virgil by her side she descended

the nine levels of hell and then sleeping

she opened the seven gates of heaven

II. waking furies

La Marquise Casati par Man Ray (1922)

the furies are freedom burning within

they make life cold and indefinite

on the banks of the river seine

widows come to make their devotions

gloveless and ringless

children oft call them witches

they bring foxglove and rosehips

to foster vengeful goddesses

when headless widows talk

they spawn public discontent

tell windless tales of corrupt governments

and murdered offspring

of roman rule end of empires

the rape of Persephone

how men rose to be like gods

on the backs of despondant women

widows wander backstreets and alleys

until the bones break in their feet

then they sit and wait for death

as passerbys look beyond them

eating from garbage cans bathing in gutters

they damn themselves to freedom

From the diary of a waitress

I told him I spit in his soup.

He didn't complain;

he wasn't hungry anyway.

~lt, 1975

Vic Chesnutt - Chain

New WHAT ABOUT ME trailer

i'm very sick right now and haven't been writing much. and that's what hurts the most! love to my friends with me-cfs... i hope we get our lives back one day soon.