blinded

"Every child, as he wakes into life, finds a mirror underneath his pillow. Look in it he will and must, else he cannot know who he is, a creature fallen from grace, and this knowledge is a necessary preliminary to salvation. Yet at the moment he looks into his mirror, he falls into mortal danger, tempted by guilt into a despair which tells him that this isolation and abandonment is irrevocable. It is impossible to face such abandonment and live, but as long as he gazes into the mirror he need not face it; he has at least his mirror as an illusory companion." ~W. H. Auden


i am forgetting my face
the long smooth line of cheek
the roman nose
the bedroom eyes
now blinded

i try to grasp
the difference between
then and now
attached as i am
to what i was

Wiping away the droplets
I seek my face
my body cleansed
of residue
fully naked

i cannot see
my eyes have been stolen
the mirror twin
in shame and anxiety
turns away from me

it is too late now
for new eyes
it is too late
to put out the light
of self love

Les étendues - Dominique A

This song always makes me think of Alain Bashung. It was released in 2009, 
the same year that he died .... English translation below.

Des étendues

Dominque A

Des étendues

The expanses

J'en veux encore

I still want

Des étendues

The expanses

Des mers à boire

Oceans to drink

Comme des draps pendus

Like drapes hanging

Au décor

In the scenery

J'en ai tant vu

I have seen them

J'en veux encore

I still want them

Des étendues

The expanses

Dehors les hommes

Outside of men

Et les tickets-

And the lost

Boisson perdus

Drink tickets

Les tours de garde

The watchtowers

Et les hauts murs

And the high walls

Hors de ma vue

Beyond my view

Au ban l'amour

Banished from love

J'aime mieux l'étendue que loi

I love the expanses more than the law

Même étendue

Even expanded

Même étendue

Even expanded

Etant entendu que sans toi

Being heard without you

Que me reste-t-il? Laisse moi

What remains for me? Leave me

Au moins encore une longue-vue

At least still a long view

Pour regarder les étendues

To look at the expanses

Des étendues

The expanses

J'en veux encore

I still want

Des étendues

The expanses

Des mers à boire

Oceans to drink

Comme des draps pendus

Like drapes hanging

Au décor

In the scenery

TEPCO Cam Faves

A youtube playlist with evidence of ongoing criticality at Fukushima Daiichi. Some have talking, some have music.

By Radchick of Orion Talk Radio: http://oriontalkradio.com/Default.aspx?PID=27

Another anniversary for Alain

que dire, que dire, que dire! trois ans et encore une musique sans pareil, un mec sans pareil! donnez-moi de nouvelles données, donnez-moi ... oh alain, deuxième homme de ma vie, de mon cœur car tu m'a appris comment il faut rester en vie, même en dents de scie... et comme c'est difficile quelquefois! mais ta vie, ta musique me donne du courage... alors, je l'écoute sans pitié. merci, alain, merci, je t'aime, donc je te suis. xoxoxoxo

Fukushima Anniversary: Save the Children!

video by moineau

The children and adolescents of Fukushima prefecture and many other places in Japan, as well their future progeny, continue to be at high risk for radiation from the Fukushima Daichi nuclear explosions and meltdowns. The government of Japan pretends that it can clean up the radiation, but we all know that isn't true. We must protect the children.

Please sign the petition: Evacuate Fukushima 福島の子供を守れ !
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/evacuate_fukushima/

The song is "Fly to Me" by Chihiro Onitsuka. I provide a translation I found online.
(http://www.jpopasia.com/lyrics/5607/chihiro-onitsuka/fly-to-me.html). 

Photos are from a variety of online blogs.

KANJI
その呼吸が近くで濁るたび 全てを壊したくなるのよ
ここからは弱ささえ届かない 拙い境目で何を叫べばいい?

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

(飛んで来て
今すぐ私の元へ飛んで来て 私はそれを感じようとするから
どうか私の元へ飛んで来て)

『私は泣かない』と微笑(わら)って
潰れる胸を押し殺そうとするけれど
温もりなど闇の中 そんなの冷たいだけ 貴方に映ればいい

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

嘘でさえ続いて行く それでも現実が 何かを包むから

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel try to heal myself
(飛んで来て 今すぐ私の元へ飛んで来て
私はそれを感じようと 自分をなだめようとするから)

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

ROMAJI
sono kokyuu ga chikaku de nigoru tabi subete o kowashitaku naru no yo
koko kara wa yowasa sae todokanai tsutanai sakaime de nani o sakebeba ii?

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

"watashi wa nakanai" to waratte tsubureru mune o oshi korosou to suru keredo
nukumori nado yami no naka sonna no tsumetai dake anata ni utsureba ii

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

uso de sae tsudzuite iku sore demo genjitsu ga nanika o tsutsumu kara

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try feel try to feel try to heal myself

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

ENGLISH

Each time your breath gets muddy near me
I want to destroy everything
What shall I cry out within these unlucky borders
Unreachable from here even to my weaknesses?

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

I won't cry with a smile
Though you try to crush my heart to death
Warmth inside darkness
Only such coldness should be reflected in you

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

It'll continue on even as a lie
Because reality conceals something

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try feel try to feel try to heal myself

Fly to me Fly to me Fly to me now
I try to feel try to feel
Fly to me

"There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost"

Nuked Radio Promo-Tokyo Gamma Ghosts

from Radchick and the folks at Orion Talk Radio:
("We care for you because your government doesn't")
http://www.oriontalkradio.com/Default.aspx?PID=27&T=Nuked

Photo by Jérémie Souteyrat

yokohama - february, 2002

for Ron who cried when we left and for everyone who loves Japan...

infinite alleyways

leading to the train

we take them all

past noodle shops and

french patisseries

we stop for coffee

and petits fours

there's an obsession with french

equal to english

droll petites phrases

"all of dreams,

full of hopes"

we laugh, delirious

paper paper paper galore

it's every poet's dream

my paper maché box

is overflowing

petits cahiers

noh stickers

letter sets

tsunami prints

manga manga manga-la

i'm developing a

new mantra

learning japanese

sumimasen, sumimasen

i whiz past minicars

on a busy street

carrying the dinner fish

and off to my left

a temple, a sanctuary

a woodland path

a waterway with geese

big crows and

little sparrows

a temple, a grotto

a shallow wooden well

tao shinto buddha-mé

i know i'm in heaven

down eight floors
from the little

apartment where

our daughter-in-law

sleeps late in

her pregnancy

we cross to the daieh

hundreds of bicycles

are lined up, unlocked

no one locks anything up

we're in awe of that

the department store
is as big as a mall
and each floor is

phantasmagorical

a thousand cranes

kitties and bears

human fetishes

shoes and studded leggings

too many delicacies

to taste in the basement

flat screen tv's

not yet in vogue

yet here hanging

on every wall

a million electronics

sing in their displays

every one in kanji

the colors unimaginable

we buy a heater

for the baby

then dash off to denny's

to scour the menu

even denny's

is special here

the night is cold

the wind is blowing

the rain may turn

to snow

the night is long

my daughter-in-law is

moaning for her

mother in bohol

i comfort her

the best i can

she takes the

epideral and

sleeps unfettered

we cat nap

and say prayers to

individual gods

not quite at dawn

a baby lies

in my arms

soft black hair

orange skinned

jaundiced

it will take us

many days to

bring him home

we put him

by the window

for sunlight

we anguish, thinking

in only a few days

we will have

to leave them

have to leave

these treasures

we try to change

our tickets but

cannot

we've only touched

the surface

shiny surface

fast trains

beautiful faces

everywhere we turn

sumimasen, sumimasen

morning dream

an old poet, withering

i visit 

knock at the door

of the man i once lunched with

his dashing lover

his endless mansion

household abuzz with 

sisters and servants

i am led to his side

it is late 

he has just awakened

he does not recognize my face

he is visibly shaken

his kind lover

tells me early is best

as in every dream before

i become lost in leaving

wander the hallways

enter myriad rooms

one of the poet's sisters

a dark jewess with glasses

sees me and sparks fly

she is drowning in love

corners me in the small room

tells me she will wait

ten days for my call

makes me promise

and dashes off gleeful

i continue my quest

that's not the door

but i try it

so embarrassing

the servants have gathered

to usher me through

a door of revolving glass

into a garden party

everyone in suits

i make my way

toward the gate

and someone says

it's a gated community

and as i approach

water gushes from the door

from the ground

a small tsunami

i am wet and embarrassed

and everyone is laughing

i laugh too and say

now i know what a

gated community is

i realize my feet have no shoes

cold wet socks hug them

i must have taken them off

when i saw him

sat on his bed

talked about nothing

no no, not there, i'm told

but perhaps, i think

when his sister kissed me

she took my shoes

for collateral

we are lunching

the three of us

the poet remembers me

and is delighted i came

his courageous lover

smiles with delight

as the poet tells us stories

about the good old times

we laugh and drink wine

i enter a large room

another one of his sisters winces

it is dance class time for girls

and they are busy busy busy

i wish i could join them

don't mind me

i'm looking for my shoes

i sweep past the dancers

enter a little closet

housing a row of old shoes

oh there they are!

but no they are not mine

i try them on and they fit

but they have a small heel

they will have to do

until i get my shoes back

when i leave this time

you are waiting by the car

dressed in a blow-up plastic

robot costume

roller blades dress your feet

you look so ridiculous

as you slide down the sidewalk

you say you found

a vintage toy store

and when you left

they just gave it to you

i realize it fits you

it's a perfect fit

glad you were not bored

waiting all those hours at the car

i show you my shoes

my parisian black slippers

gone forever

the hours

if i had anything left to say, i'd say it, dammit

nothing but the hours the hours

stretching out before me in this cold empty house

the muted television, cold mint tea

and me drowning in unending ennui

god forbid dollars would fall

or a plane ticket out of here to france

or a dark chocolate bar, anything to fill

the unending nil of this existence

the clanging boredom, the hammering pain

hell yes i'm depressed, wouldn't you be

wouldn't anyone left to fend for herself

with a handful of meds and infinite illness

i try everyday to occupy some meaning

but find in the end i'm too stressed to care

so i fill my head with amadeus and then

check out the birds and the earthquakes

photoshop the forests, listen to the rain

wake up with my back nearly broken

on a busted up sofa, head exploding

there's no escape, i just have to face it

fill the hours as they come and go

a book, a movie, a lousy poem

noise in the kitchen, a cat full of needs

a bunch of anger that needs some peace

winter dream

whisper winds of winter

to rustle fir trees side to side

flutter wings of snow geese

to shatter pre-dawn silence

shadows triangulate dark sky

moon sets as sun rises

enter a single warbler

to awaken all comers

soon a chorus will begin

while i lie awake dreaming