dimanche 29 novembre 2009

the path of least resistance

a trite attempt at symbiosis

enter in, don't think, don't hesitate, close your eyes if you must to blot out the glut of infomatique, the stab of dissatisfaction in the heart of hearts, do whatever it takes today to write a poem, the sky is all gray, wipe that silly smile off your face, this isn't funny, it's too sad to think that i'm living in this glass palace at the foot of cezannian mountains and the only thing i can think about is the pain that's in my gut, the hump of shoulder and the poker that is my eye, the whoosh-whoosh of tiny electrostatic refinements, you say you've started to lose weight, how ironic, you say that provence is where all your beauty comes from, and i'd love to respond with a rousing "mais oui, bien sûr, qui pourrait rester aveugle à la fin?" to snuggle into the positivity of it all and wrap myself up in fir trees and chimney smoke, oil paints and la vie d'artiste, read books on a linen chaise lounge in the garden in the yellowing sun of the day, bundle up my tableaux and go to the marchés to trade for a big fat agneau (not to eat but to love), but i'm allergic to happiness and the half of it, its woolly sister tragedy, silence and neutrality is what i must practice, like a monk in the forest i must never leave the path.

9 commentaires:

Mary Stebbins Taitt a dit…

Excellent--but sad.

Mary Stebbins Taitt a dit…

A lot of truth and heartache in it.

Laura Tattoo a dit…

my dearest friend with cfs wrote to me today after reading this: "How demanding these illnesses are - sometimes demanding full attention or at least a retraction from even the most gentle and beautiful surroundings." so true.

enudelman a dit…

really liked this long breath, Laura, into the teeth of difficulty... however stained and pitted, still a great teacher; we learn our possibilities and limitation through distress

Laura Tattoo a dit…

thanks, ed. whatever it takes... , though i would rather have written a symbolic poem about oak trees but perhaps that will come tomorrow... :>>)) always glad to write whatever is in my heart. always glad to write anything, period. xoxoxoxo

Hazel a dit…

More gut/soul/truths from you, Laura. You inspire me so much and humble me. Never stop writing.
XXXXXXX

bluerose a dit…

Hi, Mary sent me this link. I can really relate to this!

Laura Tattoo a dit…

thank you, bluerose! and welcome. mary is an incredible artist. are you an artist as well? hugs. xoxooxox

bluerose a dit…

Yes, she is! and yes, I like to do art, also. I really enjoy photography and poetry, as well. I was enjoying your poem "Catalog of a Rainy Day in December" when I saw you had replied to my comment. You're a wonderful writer.